Go ahead. Just ask. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Dear eris:
Recently I got a new cat, but he acts like weird all the time. He doesn't meow, he goes "bow-wow". He slobbers, chews my slippers and doesn't have a clue what the litterbox is for!
What can I do to straighten him out?
Signed:
Soggy Carpets
Dear Eris:
I feel this strange ache on my neck, could the rope they put around it have something to do with this?
<font size="2" face="Comic sans ms, Helvetica, sans-serif">Please give your neighbors back their dog before your cats have a chance to gang up on him and he "accidentally" ends up in the oven.Originally posted by 5Cats:
Dear eris:
Recently I got a new cat, but he acts like weird all the time. He doesn't meow, he goes "bow-wow". He slobbers, chews my slippers and doesn't have a clue what the litterbox is for!
What can I do to straighten him out?
Signed:
Soggy Carpets
<font size="2" face="Comic sans ms, Helvetica, sans-serif">You've obviously just been sleeping wrong. Try using a different pillow. And don't take that rope off, how else are they going to lead you around? Trust me, the ring in the nose option isn't as cool as it sounds.Originally posted by 3peanuts:
Dear Eris:
I feel this strange ache on my neck, could the rope they put around it have something to do with this?
Dear eris:
I shot the guy in the apartment across from me with a paintball gun. Now his roomates are threatening to sue - apparently I got blue paint all over their freshly laundered curtains. Is this tax-deductable?
<font size="2" face="Comic sans ms, Helvetica, sans-serif">The cost of the paintball gun and pellets should definately be tax deductable, because you purchased them with the sole intent of improving your neighborhood, and have in fact, used them for that express purpose. The pending, and laughable, lawsuit will provide the necessary paper trail to prove that the items where intended to be, and are used solely in a charitable fashion.Originally posted by Jadian:
Dear eris:
I shot the guy in the apartment across from me with a paintball gun. Now his roomates are threatening to sue - apparently I got blue paint all over their freshly laundered curtains. Is this tax-deductable?
<font size="2" face="Comic sans ms, Helvetica, sans-serif">Probably the best way to break down this barrier is to make sure you french kiss after acheiving orgasm in her mouth. This display of trust, affection, and complete lack of regard for gender-orientation concerns will help her break her barriers.Originally posted by crazy a:
Dear Eris,
My spouse doesn't want to kiss me after I perform oral sex on her because she considers it lesbian-like. How do I convince her differently?
Puzzled in NC
Also... you might want to point out that you find it appealing that she finds her own body appealing and fulfilling.
[img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Dear Eris,
My spouse doesn't want to kiss me after I perform oral sex on her because she considers it lesbian-like. How do I convince her differently?
Puzzled in NC
Dear Eris,
In a fit of anger at the person who nicked my stuff I decided to curse them. I got a Witchcraft For Dummies Book from the library and followed the instructions. Unfortunately during the ritual sacrifice it got a bit messy. Do you have any good tips on how to get Goat's blood out of carpet because my mum's gonna kill me.
Also I think I did something wrong as I seem to acquired a 40ft dragon in my backyard and its starting to look a bit hungrily at the neighbours. Do you know anyone or a humane society that would like to adopt a 40ft dragon?
Roasted Roses [img]graemlins/wilted.gif[/img]
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